Resolutions

Well, it's December 31, 2007. The clock is ticking, the sand is running out on good ol' 2007. It's been an eventful year here in the 1500 block of Paxton Drive, K-town, Tennessee. We've had a 10th anniversary, a new puppy, two big vacations, the first purchase of a training bra, a kindergarten graduation, the death of a new friend and an old dog, softball, tee-ball, baseball, a new job, a learner's permit and a 40th birthday -- all those in no particular order, mind you. That is just the short list that came to mind while I was sitting here pecking away. Funny how it all seems that it has come and gone in a blink, but SO much has been packed into that blink.

So resolutions... What will they be this year? Always to lose weight -- Everybody wants to lose weight. I guess I'll put it on there. Seems like I'm sorta just always gonna be a big girl, like it's just maybe the one thing I won't ever quite get right in my life. Everybody has to have that, right? The one thing that we just never get right. Keeps us humble, I suppose. So I will put it on my wish list, my list of things unresolved, and I will make a concerted effort to be healthier, even if it doesn't mean skinnier. And if you ask my husband, my being healthier would not necessarily be weight loss, but stress loss. So my resolving to be healthier next year might involve a real *shrink* more than my actual *shrinking*!

Other items on the list, well, I think there's just one this year. It is the same as it was last year. I resolve to be as fearless as possible this year. That's it. I resolved the same thing last year and had a little bit of success with it, but not as much as I would have liked. I had several big decisions that I made fearlessly this year that have bettered my life, eased my stress, however you want to describe it. But I have also had opportunities offered to me that I turned down for fear of failing or fear of what someone else might think about it. So this year I want to be do better.

I know you're reading this thinking that, to you, I am pretty fearless -- Pretty mouthy is probably more accurate. No arguments here, folks. I am pretty outspoken, but that is not the fearlessness I am wanting. Maybe a resolve to be more confident is more what I mean. I want to take the actions I feel are best for me and my family without worrying what anyone else thinks or how anyone else will react. I tend to live every moment worried about how it's all going to be perceived. This year I am going to do my dead-level best to get over that and just to make good choices.

I remember when I was about 7 or 8, we had gone to the fair over on Magnolia, just my parents and my brother and me. There was a fun house there -- You know the kind where they have the funky mirrors and the little steps that move, the barrel that goes round and round, etc? Well, my dad was wanting me to go in and I wouldn't do it. I was scared to go. Don't ask me why. I was a nervous child (imagine that). But I do remember my mom and dad arguing right there on the pavement because my mom was telling him to just let me be and my dad said to my mom that he didn't want me to live my life afraid of everything. I have never, ever forgotten that to this day. So when things come up that scare the bejeebies out of me, I always try to hear him saying that in my head. Then I try to just close my eyes and have a little faith.

So there it is, kids, my 2008 resolutions. Got any of your own? If you do, I hope you get there, but if you fall short, it's okay. Resolutions are just really the list of all the little things we don't like about ourselves anyway, all the little insecurities we've got hidden away most of the time. And if you say you're a person who doesn't have anything that you think needs to be resolved, then you're either lying or you're really annoying! :)

Happy New Year Everybody! Bring on 2008!