Field Trips, Uniforms and All The Rest

Joe, Kelsey, Sydney and I went on Kelsey's third-grade field trip to Wonder Works today. Joe, just in from a short jaunt to Ann Arbor, Michigan for some kind of special *work training* -- You know, he works for the government, so I don't even ask anymore what that exactly means -- accompanied us on this beautiful 70+ degree day to spend time with the kiddos and their friends. It was a fun trip. There were probably about 30-35 kids and maybe 10 or so adults in attendance.

If you've never been to Wonder Works in Pigeon Forge, it is tons o' fun! It's covertly educational, sorta like those Brain Games the kids like to play on the DS. There's a rock wall, a virtual roller coaster, all kinds of *What you'll look like at age 40* and *What's your personality* types of kiosks everywhere. There are space exploration exhibits, a bubble room, a bed of nails and an optical illusion art gallery that is spectacular.

So we spent a couple of hours there, then headed to Logan's Roadhouse for a little lunch. Kelsey's favorite restaurant since she was old enough to know what a restaurant was is Logan's. Sadly, we haven't had a Logan's in Knoxville for a year or so now and Kelsey hasn't quit griping about it. Fortunately for her, a brand-spanking new restaurant just opened across the street from the Tangers Outlet (fortunate for ME) in Pigeon Forge, so whenever we're in the vicinity we have to make a stop.

After lunch, we decided to take the girls to play a little miniature golf at Old McDonald's Farm in the Tangers Outlet parking lot. After much back and forth, we decided to play on the Porky Putters course (Insert your own joke here). It was so nice out today. The sun was shining, skies were blue and it was about 72 perfect degrees. A little taste of early spring. After about 45 minutes of hits and misses and all kinds of barnyard animals critiquing the putting skills of the Birchfield family, we headed back to K-town. It was an unusually easy-breezy, non-stressful day for the fam and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Let's see. What else has been going on around here? Ah, I think I may have forgotten to mention in earlier posts that the girls are going to be wearing uniforms to the co-op next year. Since I spent my entire elementary and high school career in a uniform, I think it is safe to say I am not a big fan. I'm not against it enough to start a war over it, but I think all the reasons the administrator and the *Board* give for why uniforms are the greatest thing since sliced bread are hysterical. "Uniforms give the students a sense of pride, of unity, will help keep behavior problems down, help them become better citizens," blah, blah, blah. You know, the co-op instituted uniforms this year for the middle school for the first time and the behavior problems are UP, way UP, from last year. Funny stuff, huh?

Until now, I have really tried not to be too critical of the administrator or the decisions of the Board here on the ol' blog simply because I do have some friends who read this who are parents there. But I will say this: I really have come to the conclusion that our administrator is a little out of touch with the way the world works today, especially when you are the parent of a little one. He is a grandfather now and it has been a loooong time since he has been chasing toddlers or even elementary school students. He is a decent man, a DEVOUT Christian, always says hello when you pass him in the hall kinda guy. He's also a khakis and button-down kinda guy. At first I doubted if he even owned a pair of jeans, but he does do some hiking, so maybe somewhere he has a pair of Levi's.

But he is convinced somewhere deep inside that if every child at the co-op is in a polo shirt and khakis that the world will somehow right itself and we will be discharging the most respectful, well-behaved geniuses East Tennessee has ever produced. He firmly believes that being comfortable equals a poor work ethic and that having a princess on your shirt might just mean you're a -- God forbid -- liberal! The horror!

I have a mom friend at the school whose daughter is not the traditional stick model that some elementary/middle school girls are. She says her daughter is self-conscious in a tucked-in shirt and therefore opts to wear a nice tunic with her jeans or slacks. The child is beautiful and always looks well-groomed. My friend fears that the forced uniform code will cause her daughter greater self-consciousness than she is already feeling. And it probably will.

I don't think the physical differences in children ever came into play when making these decisions. I don't think the children came into play, period, when making this uniform decision. I think what came into play is what all too often comes into play when decisions are made at the co-op -- The *Board* (those who sit in judgment of all the rest, I choose to call them) in one of their *secret meetings* (Parents are never privvy to these meetings, unless they need to address the Board and then they are given the secret time and place to show up) decided we will look more like the real private schools if we all look the same.

Interesting, isn't it? We're supposed to be at a HOMESCHOOL co-op, but it sure has started to look, feel and act like real school. The only thing left to vote out is the parental involvement and then we're all set. But, as I said, this is not a battle I choose to fight. We're there 3 days a week for four hours each day. After that, I don't care if the girls come home and run around in a sparkly scarf and panties with puppies on them the rest of the day. In my grand scheme, what they're wearing just isn't that important. And I don't think it should be as important as it is at the co-op either. We're drowning in minutiae more and more each year.

Just between you and me, if the girls were interested, I think we'd probably ditch the co-op and blaze our own trail. Kelsey has come close a time or two, especially this year, but she likes the routine. And I think it's important that she has it. So we will trudge forward, in our navy blue polos and khaki chinos, loafers and black or brown belt, until we've had enough. Then we'll have a ritual burning of school uniforms in the firepit in my backyard and maybe even roast a marshmallow or two for good measure!

~Peace