Changes

Well, I wrote a little blurb back in the late summer about my little part-time job with this great photographer named Christy Bonifacio. If you don't remember it, scroll back. It's down there somewhere!

Anyhoo, Christy is due to have her third child in May and is sort of doing a re-structuring of her life right now, kinda feeling the crunch to spend as much time with her little ones as she can while she is able. So for that reason, she is cutting back on her sessions to only two per week at the most and then pretty much shutting down after Baby Ally arrives -- for a while at least.

Because her work load is lessening and her need for my services will be minimal in the near future, I've decided to re-focus my attentions on the kiddos this semester and give up the little bit of part-time work I had left. As some of you know, Kelsey went through some *emotional* stuff early this school year right after I started working. At first I blamed it on early puberty, but after a while I wondered if it didn't have something to do with my new schedule. I was missing field trips because of work and really pretty disorganized as far as school was concerned because I was spending a lot of time getting acclimated to the new job, trying to learn the new computer programs, answering work e-mails, etc. And I truly believe she was really having trouble adjusting to the shift in my focus.

I have been off for the last six weeks or so for the holidays and while Christy took some vacation time, and since I have been home Kelsey is a totally changed girl. Back to her old self again. And I truly believe it is because I have settled back into the routine of being present at school a lot, being more prepared for the school days instead of forgetting this or that assignment and just basically being attentive instead of distracted.

When I first decided to do this little part-time job, I was feeling like I needed something for me, something more than just wife and mom, something that validated my worth, I guess. I go through these phases where I feel like *some people* have the attitude that running the household, teaching my children, feeding my family, etc. is without real value. I mean, it's not like I'm getting PAID or anything, so it's like I'm slacking or something, right? Okay, that's my paranoia sometimes, but sometimes that's truly what people think. Stay-at-home moms have it MADE IN THE SHADE. I've heard it many times.

So I guess I thought this part-time job thing would allow me to bring in a little tuition money and make me feel like I was earning my keep. The funny thing is that while I was doing it, I felt like I wasn't earning my keep at all, that I was letting everything go. So my thinking now is that feeding, clothing, bathing, teaching, loving these kids and being a wife to this husband is what my purpose truly is. I have lots of things I love to do otherwise, creative outlets, but the reason I was put here on this Earth was to care for this family and I am good at it because I enjoy doing it and I am passionate about it. I truly believe it to my very core.

And from now on, instead of feeling *less than* because my daily job doesn't pay the bills, I think I'm just going to be grateful that I am able to do this *non-profit* job with full attention and not just at night after I have to work an 8-hour day. So starting today I am a full-time mom, wife, maid, pharmacist, physician, taxi driver, teacher, disciplinarian, entertainer and cheerleader. I do it for free because, for right now, I am blessed to be able to do it for free. And I am thankful to Joe for continuing to reassure me that the job I am doing is important and worth more than money.

So I'm a little sad that my weekly visits to see my new friend, Christy, are ending, but I am feeling good about my decision to put our household back in order (okay, chaotic order, but still...). I know in my heart I'm doing the right thing. So I guess what this means is you guys will probably be subjected to more blogging since I'll have some more at-home time during the week. I can feel your excitement now! Really, no need to thank me...